I always thought I have to be liked by a lot of people. So much have I hated myself if someone didn't like me. I blame myself for every (not good) thing that happens to me. I have heard so many million times that you have to first like yourself before anyone else can. But have I ever understood it? No I have not. It is always so damn difficult to like yourself and I think this especially applies for girls. It is a well known fact that we cannot see all the good things about ourselves and we compare ourselves to others. Some say it is healthy and ok to compare yourself to someone else but in my case, I do it all the time. I can never feel that I am good enough. There will always be someone who will be picked before me and over me, at least that is how I feel about myself. I wish I could just accept myself the way I am and not wanting to be anything else that what I am.
There are days when I feel strong and confident, I actually like myself, I feel good about myself. But then the days that I believe everyone has, come by and drown the good feelings and build a nasty and dark wall between the good and bad feelings. Confidence is not for sale because if it was, I would have used all my savings to get it. But since it isn't I've had to learn how to create it all by myself. And I have learned that all my experiences, good and bad ones, build my confidence up or bring it down. I tried to explain once to one friend of mine how I think I have a lot of confidence but I have a bad self esteem. I have strong opinions and I am not afraid to express them (at least not anymore). But I just can't make myself to feel good about me. But still I know this fact, and I think everyone does; You gotta like yourself because if you don't then
who does?
